Oh hello there

Uhm, hello there. Long time no see. I could start coming up with excuses and that, but I am just going to keep it real. I was too busy, and didn't feel like writing. I still talk a lot, but not felt like sitting down and doing it. I had lots of things to do at work to go up a band, I also went up to full time in autumn, and was just busy working and living.

But yes, I did run my first half marathon, and I am planning on doing an other one this year. Hopefully I won't twist my ankle a fortnight before it happens, and hopefully I won't be on my period again. Would help not bleeding while running and not having cramps. The joys. :D 

A few things happened since I last blogged. The biggest one probably is, that after years of saying I could never be a vegan, I became one 5 weeks ago and I am loving it. Won't go into to much fuss about it just now, but just like when I became a veggie, I am going to write a bigger more in depth post about the whole thought process and all that jazz.

Because of this, I am planning to post loads of recipes, because I feel like my instagram is now just a dumpster of food posts, and I don't necessary want to take it to this direction. Oh yeah by the way, I am still very active on instagram (you probably know anyway), and I also recently restarted blabbering on twitter, still in Hungarian sometimes, depending on the topic or my mood. I do enjoy the 280 character limit, I always felt I couldn't really word my thoughts in only 140. That's one of my many flaws.

So yes, I am kinda back, need to have a kick up my bum sometimes to post, but there is a better chance now, that Vikings is finished for this season, and I binge watched The good place as well, so not much to do really. 

See you soon, you couple of weirdos who are still here. :) Love you.

Half marathon

I had childhood asthma. Up until summer, 2015, running meant tasting blood in my mouth. Having to stop every 30 seconds, wishing I had my inhaler with me. I wish PE teachers would realise, running is not coming naturally for everyone. It is more of a skill that you need to learn. 

When I started running in June 2 years ago, I had no idea I would actually like it. It was just a free exercise I thought I would try out. One thing led to an other, and I entered my first race last year, and ran 10 km, earning my first medal EVER. If you would have told 13 year old me, that one day I will run without being chased and would actually enjoy it, I am pretty sure I would have checked your vital signs.

But even when I was running last year, training for the 10k, I was laughing at people when they said "wait and see, you'll be at a marathon soon". Me? Haha yeah sure, no way, baby. 

And now here I am, 12 weeks away from a half marathon, on the first day of my training. Am I scared? Yeah, a bit. But I am also hella motivated. I am going to cry, for sure, and will curse myself for signing up for it in the first place, will try to quit workouts, will try to negotiate my way out of it. I know my stupid self, procrastinating is my middle name. But I want to do it. I am going to do it. 

What I also need is you, though. I am going to need all the friendly faces, cheering on the side for me, and catching me at the end. I am going through that finishing line, I don't care if covered in blood and tears, I will be there, and I will go into the sea and make a fool of myself as per usual. And then we will go for a meal and I will probably sign up for a marathon the day after, because I am crazy. Are you with me? :)

Beach body vs beach clothing

I have been quite furious the past few days, about this burkini bullshit in France. Policemen forcing a woman to take her clothes off. I don't need to finish that sentence. Because who cares what is their reason. If your blood pressure doesn't rise from the fact, that armed men walked up to a woman and forced her to take her clothes off in public, then please give back your "I am a human" card, because you are not bloody one. 

People are saying, that she shouldn't wear that to a beach. Well let me tell you something. My body wasn't touched by a swimsuit for almost a decade. Because I was so ashamed of it, and I didn't want Greenpeace to come up to me thinking I was a beached whale. So whenever we went near water, no matter how roasting it was, I wore my jeans and a T-shirt. In July. Because that is what I felt comfortable in. And no one ever came up to me and asked me why I wore that. It was my choice. 

An other story, me as well. I was 11, went on a school trip to Lake Balaton, and got burnt in the sun so much, that I had one massive blister starting from my left shoulder, going through my back, to my right shoulder. So from the next day on, I wore a T-shirt over my swimsuit, to prevent further damaging of my skin. I swam in that as well. That wasn't proper beachwear either. But I needed that. 

Also, I have a friend, who has sun allergy. She wouldn't go to a beach in a tiny bikini, because it would be torture afterwards. There are so many people with scarring, stoma bags, cellulite, bruising, you name it, who wouldn't feel comfortable showing these things in public, so they cover themselves in clothes that hide them. There are people who are so pale (raising hands here!), that are afraid of skin cancer, and don't want to expose their skin for the sun for too long. There are also people, who are currently battling skin cancer, but still would like to enjoy the rays of sunshine on a lovely day, by the water. 

Oh yeah, and there is an other reason for not having traditional swimwear on. Religious beliefs. Which is also a choice by the way, and should be fucking respected. I am sorry for swearing, but I just don't want to live in a world, where a woman has to take her clothes off, which gives her comfort, just because someone can't tolerate the fact that she wanted to wear them. It is no difference from stripping a fat girl into her underwear. Or forcing someone with sun allergies to go and sunbathe without clothes on. It. Is. Her. Choice. To. Wear. What. She. Wears. 

And I am not religious at all, but I respect everyone, and they can believe in whatever they want to, from the flying spaghetti monster to Cthulhu. And if they choose to wear or not to wear something, then go on and do it. No one moaned when I saw a grown woman walking around in a Pikachu onesie in broad daylight. It covered the same amount of her body as a chador would have. 

Let people wear whatever they want to wear. Please. 

How did I become a vegetarian

In my previous post I promised, that I would write a whole post about my decision in becoming a vegetarian. So here we go. :) 

First of all, just a disclaimer at the beginning. I am not preaching about what is right and what is wrong. I don't have a problem with people who eat meat. With people who only eat fish. Who doesn't eat meat. I don't have a problem with vegans, planteaters, rawdieting folks or anyone for that matter. We are all adults who are responsible for their lives, and should know what is good for them. If someone is happy eating meat, good for them, I am no one to tell them otherwise. This is only my story. So no hate please. :) 

I was a meat eater my whole life, and I come from a culture and country, where meat is the expensive food, therefore even though it is not luxury, it has to be on a table on weekends and holidays, special occasions. I liked meat, but only the type that is easily edible. I didn't like eating chicken legs, wings, anything around bones, where I had to "hunt" avoiding the veins or tendons or cartilages and that. So I was picky. It was the same for me with seafood, I loved fish and clam, but the second the "clammeat" opened, and I saw the whole inside of it, I just couldn't continue eating it. Same with fish though, could eat a slice, but wasn't really happy about a whole fish on my plate, tail, head and all. 

Now I kinda realized, that I didn't like these food, because I saw the animal in them. If you give me a slice of bacon or a breaded chicken breast, it doesn't resemble an animal. But if I see the little intestines of the clam, or the eyes of the fish on my plate, or the legs of the chicken, I see what it is. 

Anyway, back to like 2 years ago, when we moved here. I would have sworn to anything, that I hated curry, and people gave me funny looks for saying it. :D We tried it like the first week we moved here, and I kept on trying and trying different kinds, but just didn't like it. I always thought it was about the sauce. It turned out it was - surprise - the meat. Since I don't eat meat and order veggie curries, I can't get enough of it. It was always the Mr asking if we could order some curry and I kinda agreed but was never really happy about it. Now it is me initiating it, since I love it so much. 

The idea of not eating meat came to my head at the end of last year, I was thinking about it a lot, but kept putting it aside. I noticed it though, that more and more often I went for something vegetarian when we went out for a meal. I am a sucker for cheese, especially goat cheese, so whenever I saw something with it, it instantly beat anything meaty. 

It was in May when I accidentally realized, that I don't crave meat anymore. The Mr went to London for a conference for 3 days, and after I dropped him off at the airport I went grocery shopping for myself only. 

This is what I got. I didn't have a plan for shopping, I just went in and bought whatever I felt like eating. Not a single meat product. I didn't want them anymore. So I kinda knew from this point, that I am going to become a vegetarian, but I didn't want to break it to the Mr yet. He just recently found out that he couldn't have anything with dairy in it, as it made him very ill, and it was a hard enough change for him, didn't want to upset him even more. 

An other thing that made me think about meat: I noticed, that whenever I went running, it felt the best and easiest on days when I didn't eat meat. So I had this habit, that whenever I knew I was going to run in the afternoon, just had porridge or a porridge pie for breakfast, a fruit bowl or smoothie for lunch, and that was me. If I had some meat, even some ham in a panini I just had cramps while running, had to have walking breaks, etc. It didn't feel nice.

So I kinda ate meat when we had it, sometimes I didn't, but it kept building up in me, that I have to make this decision and I need to tell him as well. The last drop in the glass was a lorry I saw driving past me about a month ago, with loads of pigs on it. I just started crying, I don't want animals to be killed just because I want to eat. So since then I was avoiding meat, and it was on the 24th of July, while we were eating home made curry (with tofu, because we both like it! :D) I broke it to the Mr that this was my decision. I reassured him, that he can eat whatever he wants to eat, because I am not going to force my things onto anyone. This is my decision, not his, and I am not afraid or disgusted to prepare meat for him at home. We had a couple of meals, where I cooked separately for myself, but now he said that he is happy to eat the way I eat now, and will just eat meaty stuff when we go out, to make things easier. Isn't he the best. :) 

I have to say it is quite easy to be a vegetarian nowadays, Quorn does amazing products, their wheat protein sausages and patties can easily confuse a meat eater, because there is almost no difference. It is mostly about seasoning anyway. :) And I am not a fussy eater when it comes to vegetarian dishes, as long as there is one thing on the menu for me, we can go. This is how we had a meal at KFC the other day. (I was probably the first one to order a veggie rice box in ages though, because they put a chicken piece on it as well, and when I took it back the just looked at me like I was an idiot. Nevermind.)

Since I am a vegetarian, I have been on a couple of runs, and what a difference! As I said earlier, I didn't eat meat on running days anyway, but now since I stopped entirely, I am almost 30 seconds faster on a km! On my last 2 runs I felt that I can actually run faster now, so far I felt like I always ran on my highest speed, but yesterday I could differentiate  between just jogging and speeding up for a while, then jogging again. Never experienced it before. And it is not because of further weight loss, because I am on the same weight for a good couple of months now. Had an other bit of stagnating, but now I feel it is going to start going down again. My body does this every now and again, but it is normal, and I don't have a date when I have to be "finished" so I am not rushing anything. 

So this is me now, and I am very happy with it. I still eat eggs (I only buy free range happy eggs, 90% of the time from the locals), and eat/drink milk as well, but I go for organic British products, try to be as conscious about it as I can. The best would be to have half a dozen of chickens in the garden, and a cow named Daisy, so I could be a 100% sure that they are not mistreated, but this is the best I can do now, and it makes me happy. 

I don't consider myself anything because of this, and I am not an activist, not going to spill paint on people for eating whatever they eat. I actually think vegetarians and vegans who attack on as many platforms as possible sometimes make more harm than good. Being cruelty free is one thing, but we can't be just animal friendly and not human friendly at the same time. So if you want to take me out for a meal go ahead and enjoy a juicy steak, you are not going to hear a word from my mouth saying it is murder, you are eating a corpse or you are horrible. I will just enjoy my vegetables next to you. And we can share pudding. :) 

Please excuse the silence

Oh wow, I did actually sit down and started writing an other post.

Sorry about being this quiet for a while, I just never really had the inspiration to sit down and talk. Write, even. I know, how weird from me, I basically never shut up in real life. I guess I just needed some quiet time. However if you follow me on Instagram, I am still very active there (no surprise!), and I am still on my pathway, doing what I can to be healthier and more fit. 

I posted a couple of new before-after pictures on insta but let me just share a couple in this post as well. 

This is the most recent one, the one on the right side taken on the 5th of August

I also did my 10k race in June, and I would pretty much like to train for a marathon in the future. My main goal is a half marathon just now, there is one in Edinburgh next spring, so let's get there! :)

I am still practicing yoga, although not as often as I would like (working on it!), and I run of course, oh yes, and the most important, almost forget, I work as a midwife now!

Maybe this is why I was so quiet, job hunting was hard, as I had a couple of unsuccessful interviews, but finally I started my journey as a Scottish midwife 6 weeks ago in a midwife led unit, and I absolutely adore it. 

My diet has recently changed as well, since I decided to be a vegetarian now. :) Will write a full post dedicated to this decision, so keep your eyes peeled for that. 

So this is me, trying to get back to the routine and write a bit more often, I hope I can stick with it. Let me know in the comments if you are still here, reading, hopefully I am not just talking to a brick wall. ;) 

Be safe!

I have a friend, who runs for years now, so when it came to the colder months, I asked him what kind of running gear I need for the winter, as I had no idea how to dress. One of the things he said, was a headlight, as loads of people run in the morning, and obviously it is still dark at that time. I didn't buy one, as I never run in the morning, when I am going for a run, it is on my day off, and I don't need to get up early to fit a run in. 

source

Thank god for being smart, and never running in the dark. Last week on one of my runs, I was running just outside of the park next to me, good neighbourhood, etc. And I noticed a car (new Mercedes), that was just going next to me, at the speed of mine. I didn't look at it, I didn't want the driver to know that I know he is there. So I have no idea whether it was a joke, or god knows what else. But it was f*** creepy, let me tell you. He was doing it for a good couple of minutes, until an other car came from the other direction (god bless you, Mini driver), then the Mercedes stopped and I never saw it again. It was at half 3 in the afternoon, kids playing not far from me, and still this has happened. 

Whether it was a joke or not, I am pretty positive this would have never happened with a male runner. I don't know the driver's intentions, but even as a joke it is not funny, and gave me the creeps. I am not going to run in the dark ever, not that I have planned it or anything, but these things are scary enough during the day, what would have happened, if this was early in the morning, and no one was around? 

Please, if you go outside for activities, be safe. You can listen to music (I do it as well), but make sure it is not too loud, and you can still hear your surroundings. Make sure not to go into dark alley ways, and look around all the time. If you feel like you are not in a nice area, speed up and go to a safer street. If someone attacks you, don't be afraid to scream your lungs out. I read it somewhere, that screaming FIRE is actually more effective than screaming for help, as people are more afraid of a fire, as it can risk their life as well, not just someone else's. 

If you go for a run in the dark, be extra careful. Try not to run alone. Have lights on your head to make sure you see everything. Carry a pepper spray. Tell at least one person you know, that you went for a run, and tell them the route as well. Carry your phone with you. It is better to be safe than sorry. There are too many horrible stories around. 

It would be so nice not to make these precautions, but as long as there are stories of women being attacked outside, we need to be prepared. Be safe.

Fat AND fit?

I probably mentioned it before, that I am quite active on tumblr. If I haven't, then here it is now: I am very active on tumblr. A week ago or so, I came across a thread, that made me a bit angry, so here are my thoughts. 

This picture was the starter of the thread, which is in Hungarian, but here is the link if you understand any of it.

Firstly: I absolutely agree with this picture, and I think it is very good to show others, that a "fatty" can also be fit. What bothered me, that people started saying, that this is a lie, this is not even a motivator, it is worse, because it gives fat people the comfort, that they are fit and there is nothing to change about their lifestyle. 

What people forget most of the time is, that losing weight, and changing takes time. A long time. One does not start eating right and exercising, then the next day wakes up with a six pack and toned body. I started my journey in June, 2015. Lost over 20 kilos, dropped 3 sizes in clothing, but I am still not skinny. I still don't look fit, according to the - let's call them - haters. I have jiggly parts, I still have a tummy, I still have flabby bingo wings. Everything is smaller, but I still have them. And it is fine by me. Because I am in mid transition, and I know, that I am going to lose the leftover kilos just like I lost those 20+. But we can still say, that yes, in fact I still look fat-ish. 

But hell, I am running 7 kilometers non-stop now, I am training for my race in June, also I am practicing yoga almost every day, I easily hold myself in side-plank, regular plank, for minutes if I want to. What is that? I think it is called FIT. 

Just because someone who you see doesn't look like a fitness model, it doesn't mean they are not fit. They can be doing exercises for a long time. They might have been even bigger, and calling them fat is pretty ridiculous. Especially when most of these people who bash others for their looks are probably holding a doughnut/sugary shit drink while commenting these things, and have no self-control. 

Fat people can be fit. Of course they can be not fit as well. Just like skinny people. Your size doesn't determine your fitness level. It doesn't determine anything. Stop body shaming.